


Three (Or Maybe Five) Cool Cats (Or Maybe Kittens)

by reason_says



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-08
Updated: 2008-10-08
Packaged: 2017-10-12 20:12:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reason_says/pseuds/reason_says
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SGA-1 finds a basket of kittens on a mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three (Or Maybe Five) Cool Cats (Or Maybe Kittens)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with this show or anyone involved, and I'm making no money from this.
> 
>  
> 
> Notes: Written for [fizzyblogic](http://archiveofourown.org/users/phizzle/pseuds/fizzyblogic). ♥

**Three (Or Maybe Five) Cool Cats (Or Maybe Kittens)**

 

John knew he hadn't seen everything the universe had to offer, not by a long shot. When he'd stepped through a wormhole into a galaxy that had alien vampires who tended to form weird relationships with him, he'd pretty much resigned himself to never getting jaded. Still, there were some things he'd assumed, even unconsciously, he'd never have to deal with on patrol. This was one of them.

Half an hour ago his team had been perfectly fine, tramping through the forests of M3S-985 looking for lifesigns. Nothing to indicate this would be anything but a run-of-the-mill mission, but John wasn't sure they'd ever _had_ a run-of-the-mill mission, so that wasn't saying much. Still, it wasn't creepily quiet or overly loud or swarming with glowing bugs, so all in all John was willing to count it as a win.

And then Rodney had let out a noise that had sounded suspiciously close to a screech, before dropping to his knees.

Now it was half an hour later, and his condition was still critical.

"And these… kittens?" Teyla looked to John for confirmation, but he was busy glaring at Rodney so she shook her head and moved on. "They are an Earth animal?"

"Well, technically they're the, well, the baby form of cats, but yes, I suppose they count as their own animal. They're definitely nicer than most cats- ow!" Rodney broke off to extract a kitten from his arm. "Well, most of the time."

"So they're from Earth. What are they doing here?"

John finally looked up, his glare rearranging itself into at determined look as he focused it at Ronon. "That's a very good question, and one I'd hope the resident scientist would spend a little more time _pondering_ before picking them up and playing with them."

Rodney didn't even look up. "We can't all be soulless dog people, Colonel."

"Soulless-- Oh, that's it, McKay." John grabbed Rodney's arm and tugged, pulling him up. (If Rodney stood up under his own power and the resulting over-application of force sent him tumbling into John, well, they just didn't notice, that's all.) "You're a scientist. Do… sciency things. Deduct! What the hell are kittens doing in the Pegasus Galaxy?"

"How should I know? It's not like I brought them here, although trust me, if I'd been allowed I'd have at least three cats in my quarters. Not the point. The point is… I don't know! Why are we complaining? They're kittens!" He swooped down and picked one up, cradling it gently as he held it up to John. "Can you maybe not be paranoid for once?" He tucked the kitten closer, freeing an arm for gesturing. "And yes, I know that's usually my job, the panicking and the conspiracy theories, but excuse me for not being terrified of a tiny precious bundle of fur and tiny teeth!"

He placed the kitten back in the basket, where it mewed at him before scrambling over a grey tabby and curling up. Rodney spared a moment to grin at it, a moment when John rolled his eyes, before picking up the basket by its surprisingly sturdy handle and setting off determinedly back along the path they'd made through the forest. Teyla looked at Ronon, who looked at John, who glared after Rodney before jogging to catch up to him.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Rodney stared blankly. "Back to Atlantis, of course. We need to check them out." He lifted the basket, causing a chorus of mews as the kittens tumbled. John resisted the urge to grin.

"We can't bring them _back_ , don't be ridiculous!"

"And why not?" John was sure that, if Rodney hadn't had a basket in one hand, he would have crossed his arms.

John stammered. "Well, they… they might be alien kittens, or some evil thing pretending to be kittens because they sensed you'd be nice to them in that form. Hell, Rodney, what if somebody's allergic?"

"Oh, don't be stupid." Rodney waved his free hand dismissively. "I don't know if you've noticed, Sheppard, but I'm allergic to most things. Do you see me going into shock? Itching? Do you see me _sneezing?_ No. They're fine." He cut off John's objections with a hand over his mouth, before realising what he'd just done and self-consciously removing his hand. John resisted the urge to wipe his mouth. "And if nothing else, I have epi pens galore, we'll be fine."

He continued walking. John shook his head in disgust, looking back for support from Teyla and Ronon only to find that Ronon had lifted one of the kittens from the basket when Rodney wasn't looking, and was now holding it gingerly as it batted at his hair. Throwing up his hands, John stalked after Rodney.

\---

John wasn't sure what he'd expected Woolsey's reaction to be, but if he'd thought it out it probably would have been something along the lines of ordering Rodney to take the kittens right back where he'd found them, on grounds of possible allergens and the likelihood of the fuzzy little animals being a disguise for something nasty. What John had absolutely _not_ expected was for Woolsey to fawn over the things even more than Rodney had.

It wasn't that he had much regard for Woolsey in the first place, but there was something unsettling about seeing the man who was effectively in charge of the entire Atlantis mission _cooing_ as a kitten batted at his finger.

Rodney, for his part, had calmed down somewhat now that the kittens were securely in his possession, and was standing off to the side looking smug. John really wanted this meeting to be over.

\---

It wasn't that John didn't like kittens. Yes, he was more of a dog person, but he could appreciate that kittens were tiny and adorable in ways that even puppies weren't. He just didn't see the need to jeopardise the safety of the mission for the take of baby animals that, seriously, shouldn't have been in Pegasus in the first place. Had anyone even bothered to count them? Who knew how many might have gotten loose and started wandering around the corridors of Atlantis, getting fur in the vents and distracting people from their very important work and wow, when did he turn into Rodney? John shook his head and stood up. He wasn't getting anything accomplished hanging around in the gateroom, anyway, he might as well go to the labs and see if Zelenka had managed to beat some sense into Rodney.

Rodney's lab, when he got there, was not a pretty sight. John counted at least five kittens being held – no, _cuddled_ – by members of the science team. They did at least seem to be attempting basic identification procedures, but their apparent affinity for fuzzballs was getting in the way. Zelenka in particular was trying to scan his kitten while it batted at his glasses. Surprisingly, Rodney was the most collected, apparently having gotten used to the kittens. He was all but holding court, striding around correcting his team's grip on their respective cats, pointing out mistakes in their findings, and carefully removing Zelenka's kitten before it could knock his glasses to the ground.

He looked up as John peered through the door. "Sheppard! You're just in time! We need another pair of hands here, some of these findings are _very_ interesting." He carefully nudged John to Miko's station, where she held out her kitten for John to take.

For a moment, John just looked at it. It wasn't an ugly cat, as cats went. It was mostly black, with a white nose and a patch of orange under its chin. It was just so… tiny. Tiny and fragile and why was he being asked to hold it? He turned to Rodney, who sighed and took the kitten from Miko himself. "For God's sake, it won't hurt you!"

He shoved it at John, who was forced to grab it to keep it from falling, which didn't stop him from glaring at Rodney. He looked down at the kitten, which was now peering up at him and pushing at his arm in an effort to rearrange himself. He loosened his grip, moving closer to the table just in case, but all it did was curl up in the crook of his arm, blink up at him, and cover its nose with its tail. He stared at Rodney.

"Oh, what now?" Miko had gotten a portable scanner out and was running it over the kitten, which seemed to have no effect other than to make it purr. And holy crap, was that ever a weird feeling. It was like holding an electric razor, only louder and much warmer. And furry. Maybe it wasn't much like holding a razor after all. Its tail twitched as Miko finished her scan, and Rodney moved to take it back, but John tightened his hold and stepped back.

"Hold on. Just… just let me hold it for a little, OK?" He didn't look up to see the look he was sure Rodney was giving him.


End file.
